Teen Life How's Teens Deal With...
|
Teen Adoption Where Should I Start? - Different Types Of Adoption - How Have I Been Able To Relate? What Is Adoption? Adoption is a process where a person assumes the parenting for another who is not family and permanently transfers all rights and responsibilities from the original parents. Unlike guardianship or other systems designed for the care of the young, adoption is intended to effect a permanent change in status and requires societal recognition, either through legal or religious sanction. Modern systems of adoption, arising in the 20th century, tend to be governed by comprehensive statutes and regulations.
Deciding On Adoption: If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy, you have probably already thought about your options and are ready to begin exploring these.You might be struggling with what is the best choice for you and your baby. You might have considered adoption but just don't know where to start. Pregnancy brings about many changes, both physically and emotionally. It is often a very confusing time as you learn about your options which is very normal to feel.
Common Questions:
How Do I Decide If Adoption Is Right For Me & My Baby? The decision to parent or choose adoption is often a very difficult decision. The very reason that this decision is difficult should encourage you to explore your options thoroughly. An Adoption Specialist can help you see and feel all sides.
Will I Regret It? There are many emotions that correspond with adoption. Regret is one of those emotions that is unpredictable. You may, for example, regret that you weren't able to offer everything you want for your child. However, you won't regret the fact that you gave your child a better life through adoption.
One way most birth mothers feel good about adoption is when they find a wonderful family to adopt their baby. Knowing that you can choose a family that you are comfortable with and creating an adoption plan that meets your needs will help you feel confident about your adoption. Adoption is a very difficult decision and it is normal to question your thoughts and feeling throughout the process. When you think about the reasons that you have considered and chosen adoption you will most likely find that it was the best decision that you could have made for everyone involved. Knowing that you made a positive decision out of love and in the best interest of your child, will help you cope with any feelings or thought of regret should you experience this. Closed Adoption When many people think about adoption, they envision a closed adoption in which the adoptive family and birth mother remain confidential, with no contact prior to or after the placement of the child. For many generations, it was common practice to keep adoptions closed. However, adoption has since shifted toward more openness. Today, some people believe closed adoptions to be "safer," mainly out of a fear that if the birth parents know where the adoptive family lives, that they will "take back" the child. While this fear has largely been perpetuated by television movies and sensationalized media reports, this is not true. Today's adoption laws are very clear - once the adoption is finalized, the adoptive family is recognized as the child's legal family. Open Adoptions While many adoption professionals have varying definitions of what an "open" adoption is, it typically means that the birth parents and the adoptive family speak prior to and even after the child is born. This may include phone calls and face-to-face visits. Some adoptions of this nature are very open, with the adoptive family and birth parents exchanging contact information and agreeing to periodic visits by the birth parents as the child grows.
Semi-Open Adoptions Semi-open adoptions fall in between open and closed adoptions. The adoptive family and birth parents usually will know basic information about each other, such as their first names and state of residence. Complete contact information, such as phone numbers and addresses, are not shared. While adoptive families and birth parents may speak to one another prior to the birth of the child, some confidentiality is maintained. Once the child has been placed with the adoptive family, the birth parents may still stay in contact with the family via letters and pictures, however this correspondence is handled by a third party, such as the adoption agency. American Adoption agencies handle all correspondence between the birth parents and adoptive families in a semi-open adoption. The agency maintains the current contact information for each party. They then repackage the letter so there is no identifying information (such as mailing address) and forward it on to the recipient. Birth Fathers: The father of your baby may or may not choose to be a part of your decision-making process. Whether he is supportive or not, you are not alone. Many women, just like you, have experienced situations similar to yours. Remember, adoption laws vary by state, so it is important that you speak with an adoption professional about the laws specific to your state. If the father of your baby is supportive and willing to work with you as a teammate throughout this process, this is a wonderful thing. However, if he is less than supportive of the concept of adoption, do not feel discouraged. Though each state has different laws on "birth father's" rights, as long as a professional ensures that everything is carried out according to the law, there is little a unsupportive father can do to stand in the way of what you feel is best. How Have I Been Able To Relate? My friend Sharon* has dealt with Adoption. The questions, the detailed decisions, the judgmental society. She found out she was pregnant 9 months ago. She was absolutely shocked. I mean, yes she had been having sex with her now ex-boyfriend. That one time they thought it would be okay to be unprotected. Well, it only takes one time. So, she found out she was pregnant and told the father immediately. The father got scared and told her to "get rid of it". She was crushed. Her family on the other hand was very supportive and wanted her to keep it. They said they would even adopt it from her if that's what she really wanted. But, at that time, she was still so hurt by the father's reaction that she wanted nothing to do with him or anything blood related to him. She decided she was going to put the child up for adoption. She met with adoptive parents. She filed all the paper work. And then daddy wonderful popped right back in the picture. He admitted to being wrong and apologized for being so cruel. He confessed that he wanted to be there for his child. And so, as of last week she's shredded the paper work, had a baby shower, and is now remodeling her room for the baby. She and the father are extremely excited for their newborn to come. They're naming him Maddox. Sources & Links On Adoption: Remember, I'm here to help you the readers, with everyday problems and situations. If you have any ideas for an article, that you want addressed, feel free to e-mail me! Love, Christina |
